Tuesday, April 28, 2020

Hymn of the Day - 490

I often wake up with a hymn running through my head.  Sometimes, like today, it is so persistent that I feel it's calling me to pay attention to something.  Today's hymn is #490: "I want to walk as a child of the light" (full text below).

I think this hymn was sung at the online service of my church last Sunday, which may explain its appearance in my subconscious. Reflecting on this tune and its words brings up theological questions that have and continue to confound me.  We are a  Trinitarian church - Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  The clergy at my church play a game each year of trying to pawn the Trinity Sunday sermon off on each other.  I can understand why.  The best conception I've learned over the years is that God can be thought of as a sacred Being with (at least) three identities: The Creator (Father), the Redeemer (Son), and the Comforter (Holy Spirit).  That at least moves me beyond thinking of Jesus as The Father's little boy.  As we hear at the opening of John's gospel, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God." So, the Word, Jesus, was there all along.

Of the three, Jesus is the hardest for me to wrap my human mind around.  I expect this to sound strange to some, as He is the face of God who came among us for a time.  I can see evidence of the Creator for myself: in the faces of those I love, in the animals I love, in the woods, on the water, in the seasons.  And I can see creation continuing to unfold as babies are born and the earth and our galaxy behave in predictable cycles.  I can feel the Comforter: a compelling presence drawing me into prayer, the unexpected sting of tears upon hearing a piece of music or looking upon a scene, a nudge that points me toward some behavior (like writing a blog).

Then there's Jesus, the Redeemer.  I can certainly believe in redemption, as I've known profound forgiveness and healing in my journey.  But the part about Jesus coming to Earth to give his life for my sins - huh???  Jesus coming to Earth to model Godly behavior is easy.  Jesus coming to Earth in the form of an infant to surprise humanity about how God works, I get.  I'm coming to grips with Jesus as the only person ever who was both fully human and fully divine, and therefore sinless.

This hymn does capture some important Jesus things for me.  Jesus as the Light of the World resonates strongly, and I so much want to live in relationship with Jesus. Maybe one of my husband's spiritual directors was right when she said, "He's just sitting in the corner waiting for you."  I'll keep striving.  I close my eyes as the Eucharistic prayers are said, "He took bread, broke it, and gave it to his disciples.....After supper He took the cup of wine...."  I can imagine his strong carpenter hands and picture Him doing these servant tasks in my mind. But I still have a lot of questions that will just have to wait until my race is run.


Hymn 490 - Episcopal Hymnal

I want to walk as a child of the light.
I want to follow Jesus.
God set the stars to give light to the world.
The star of my life is Jesus.

I want to see the brightness of God.
I want to look at Jesus.
Clear sun of righteousness, shine on my path,
and show me the way to the Father.

I'm looking for the coming of Christ.
I want to be with Jesus.
When we have run with patience the race, 
we shall know the joy of Jesus.

Refrain: 
In him there is no darkness at all.
The night and the day are both alike.
The Lamb is the light of the city of God.
Shine in my heart, Lord Jesus.


Thursday, April 23, 2020

April 23 - A Birthday!

Today is a day of celebration in our family.  Younger daughter, Emily, was born this day exactly 30 years ago.  Happiest of birthdays to you, sweet girl!!  We Face Timed and sent a gift via Venmo, the best we could conjure up during quarantine.  She is working remotely, at her home in Ohio.  She would be about 3 weeks from her wedding if Covid-19 had not made a mess of things.  Her equally sweet man surprised her with bakery treats this morning and forbade her bringing in any packages that arrived on the front porch.  Hmmmm.  Glad he's a romantic who likes to dream up surprises for her.

The day of her birth, we were home for about 10 minutes during our lunch break.  The phone rang, and my doctor, whom I had talked with only about 3 months earlier, was on the line.  "I just delivered a healthy baby.  Do you want it?"   "Yes! Yes! Yes!  Thank you for choosing us!!!"   I hung up and ran to the bedroom to tell my husband.  "Boy or girl?", he asked.  "I forgot to ask - all I heard was 'healthy baby'".  So we sat on the patio and thought up a boy name and a girl name before I called the doctor back.  We had her home to join us and her sister, almost 2, the next day.  What a thrill.  Instant family.

No one is related by blood in our little nuclear family.  I guess the way we came together is my strongest personal evidence for a loving God.  I grew up in South Arkansas, Stephen in Boston. There is a 7-year age difference between us. The odds of us meeting and falling in love were very slim.  Then our lives were blessed with two beautiful daughters, who could have gone to any number of loving couples who wanted to adopt a child.  Each of those events felt to me like God reached down and handed me the deepest desire of my heart. What I wanted most in this life was a family.  And I have the perfect family for me.  Thanks be to God!!

A calligraphy of this birthday prayer hangs in Emily's room, a gift from her Godmother on the day of her baptism, June 3, Pentecost, 1990:

Watch over thy child, O Lord, as her days increase;
bless and guide her wherever she may be, 
keeping her unspotted from the world.

Strengthen her when she stands;
comfort her when discouraged or sorrowful;
raise her up if she fall.

And in her heart may thy peace,
which passeth understanding, 
abide all the days of her life.
Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen


Sunday, April 19, 2020

Music to Feed the Soul - Part 2, Piano Music

I would feel like a dope if I wasted this unique opportunity to rid my home of clutter and unfinished projects.  We have been empty nesters for over 10 years, and have done some of the home improvements that were on our list while Stephen was working full time.  But I find, especially since my recent 65th birthday, that I'm compelled to travel lighter into the future.  I'm prone to "what if I need this in the future" or "what if I return to this hobby" thinking.  But by this time, I know how I want to spend my time and energy.  More time at the barn, more time with daughters and grandchildren, more time at the cabin, more time to read, more time to sew, more time for yoga, meditation, and prayer.  Less time spent cleaning, sorting, shopping.  And my least favorite household task - dusting!! 😝

My version of  "A Spoonful of Sugar..." is "A nice background of music...".  I listen to lots of piano music.  I took lessons as a child, as I figure some of you did.  The piano is unique among instruments. I'm married to a cellist, and there is basically one collection of solo cello music, J.S. Bach's wonderful 6 Suites for solo cello.  Obviously, the piano stands alone beautifully, and there is a wealth of music in every style for solo piano.  Also, my favorite musical form ever is the piano concerto (don't tell my husband!).  A concerto features a solo instrument along with an orchestra, and there are concertos for virtually all instruments - piano, violin, cello, clarinet, trumpet, and on and on.  But, the piano is not normally itself an instrument of an orchestra.  That makes it stand out as a solo instrument in a magnificent way.  I've been blessed to hear some of my favorite artists in live performance: Richard Goode and Menahem Pressler (Boston Symphony) and Elisabeth Leonskaja (Vienna Symphony).

Below is a list of favorites, beginning with piano alone and working up to concertos.  I'm saving chamber music (compositions where each instrument has a unique part), which depends heavily on piano, for its own post. Again, this is not exhaustive.  Just some that I enjoy.  Add yours to the comments if you'd like!

Piano Music for the Soul

Solo Piano Music:

  • Bach (J.S.):  Partitas (6), French Suites (6), The Well-Tempered Clavier, The Goldberg    Variations, numerous preludes and fugues
  • Beethoven: Piano Sonatas (32), Bagatelles
  • Chopin:  Prolific composer for piano, including Preludes, Impromptus, Nocturnes, Polonaises, Mazurkas, Sonatas and others
  • Brahms:  Intermezzos, Capriccios, Ballades
  • Haydn:  Piano Sonatas (lots)
  • Mozart:   Piano Sonatas (again, lots)
  • Satie (Erik): Lots of short pieces, "Gymnopedies" are famous 
  • Scarlatti:  Piano Sonatas
  • Schubert:  Impromptus (11), Sonata in B-flat (posthumous)
  • Schumann: Kinderszenen (Scenes from Childhood)
Also, two of my very favorite CD's are collections of solo piano music:  Leon Fleisher "Two       Hands", and a solo CD by Mieczyslaw Horszowski (spell that without looking!)

Piano Concertos:
  • Bach:  Italian Concerto, other Keyboard/Clavier Concertos (we have 1-7)
  • Beethoven:  Piano Concertos (5), esp. #5, "The Emperor"
  • Brahms: Piano Concertos (2)
  • Chopin: Piano Concertos (2)
  • Mozart: Piano Concertos (27), esp. #20, #21, and #24
  • Rachmaninoff: Piano Concertos (4),  #2 is most famous
  • Schumann: Piano Concerto
  • Tschaikovsky:  Piano Concertos (4), #1 is most famous
Favorite performers of classical piano works:  Richard Goode, Rudolph Serkin, Glenn Gould, Geza Anda. Artur Rubenstein, Murray Perahia, Emanuel Ax, Leon Fleisher

Et cetera:  Aside from the classical music listed above, the piano is totally enjoyable as a casual instrument.  You can find everything from Ragtime to show tunes recorded on piano. We especially enjoy a jazz ensemble called the BeeGee Adair Trio that has recorded a number of jazz and easy listening pieces.

Happy Listening!  Hope you are all staying safe and are tolerating isolation.  Here's hoping some music will lift your spirits.


Wednesday, April 15, 2020

Eastertide

Hi Everyone,

I have spent the past couple of days just basking in the Easter light.  It feels good to have the misery of Holy Week in the rear view mirror.  We had a blast of winter from Sunday through Tuesday (yesterday), but today the sun is out, the azaleas are blooming, and it looks and feels more like Spring.  Yesterday, I had reason to visit the farm where my sweet horse lives to deliver a check for the farrier.  We made a real pair: I in my mask and gloves, both of us in our winter coats.  But it was a touch of Heaven just to see her raise her head from the hay pile in recognition of my voice and to run my hands over her dirty, shaggy coat.

My brief trip out into the world and my Easter mood got me reflecting on God's providence, even in times of trial.  Susan, who owns and manages the farm, was there to care for the animals, as she does through cold winter, blistering summer, and the random pandemic among us. The horseshoer, Daniel, was on his way to tend to hooves that have been bathed in mud for these few weeks.  The horses, being both lazy and playful, have been standing around eating until they look up and decide to run and kick and frolic across the pasture.  Several are now gimping around with pulled leg muscles. This is ordinary life at the farm, and it has rarely looked so beautiful.

The Scripture that best fits my experience is from James, 1:17:

Every generous act of giving, with every perfect gift, is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. (NRSV)

I manage my days of isolation best when I focus on the givers - the many people, heroes actually, who are carrying out essential tasks with grace and generosity of spirit.  Like Mr. Rogers famously said, "Look for the helpers."  I would add, "Bless the helpers with your most extravagant gifts."

Saturday, April 11, 2020

Holy Week Music


This is my husband, Stephen Gates, cellist, and our St. Thomas organist, David White.  The art was selected by parishioner James Stroud for the 2020 Lenten series.

Holy Saturday

Today is Holy Saturday, the day I most acutely feel our Lord's absence.  No matter my circumstances on this day each year, I think about the dark church, with the eternal flame extinguished. The rest of the time, when I'm troubled or in some kind of turmoil, I go into the quiet nave and simply sit with the Holy Spirit.  When I look toward the altar, my eyes are drawn to the candle at the aumbry that signifies the presence of the Holy One. This practice has brought me comfort, wisdom, and transformation more times than I can count.  Between Maundy Thursday and tomorrow, Easter day, the presence is not available, and I feel at sea.  A deep sadness settles in, and I'm able to mourn for Jesus and what the authorities did to him.

The gruesome crucifixion is over, and Christ's body lays in the tomb, lovingly provided by a rich man, Joseph of Arimathea.  I try to spend this day imagining what it must have felt like to the women who did not yet know the rest of the story.  Mary Magdalene, Mary Mother of Christ, Jesus' friends Mary and Martha - all they knew was that Jesus was dead.  Their despair must have been crushing.  I will sit with them for the course of this day and let that universal feeling of loss settle in my bones.

As with most of my spiritual practice, there's a hymn for that.  From the Methodist hymnal:

O Love divine, What has thou done?
The immortal God hath died for me!
The Father's co-eternal Son
bore all my sins upon the tree.
Th' immortal God for me hath died,
My Lord, my Love, is crucified.

Wednesday, April 8, 2020

New Laptop and Holy Week Activity

My new HP laptop came today!!  To you techies, it's a very simple machine, but to me it is amazing! My old one died at age 6, so technology has come a long way in the interim. The set up on this machine took minimal time. I remember the days of the old IBM desk-top PC I used to write my dissertation many long years ago.  It cost more than twice this laptop, was huge and cumbersome, and Word Star required imbedded symbols for all the punctuation marks.  Today's pc's are light years from those originals, but, in their day, those machines represented the best the tech world had to offer.  You could do computer work at home instead of being tied to the massive mainframe on campus. The people who are advancing the computing field have my deep admiration.

I'm especially grateful for "the information highway", to use Al Gore's term, in these days of isolation. I can write to you and read other blogs that interest me.  I can entertain myself, buy what we need, and connect with my family and friends.  I can even 'attend' church remotely.  On that front, I commend to you the Lenten series prepared by our clergy and a parishioner who owns an art gallery.  Please go to www.stthomasspringdale.org, and check out 'Lenten Series by the Rev. Dr. Von Unruh'.  Pam Morgan, our rector, Von Unruh, our Methodist colleague,  James Stroud, gallery owner, and Stephen Gates, cellist, put together a Wednesday night series that got interrupted by covid-19.  The subject is a walk through the events of Holy Week, and you can pick it up where we had to take it online.  Rev. Unruh, our resident scholar, prepared the very informative lectures, which were paired with related art works and music for the whole effect.  I had no idea I would learn so much and have my long-held assumptions rearranged!

My little brain is filled with all I want to check out now that I have a new computer to play with.  I'll be watching the St. Thomas videos, and hope you will join me.

Monday, April 6, 2020

Fruits of the Spirit

I was reminded today of the fruits of the Spirit, found in Paul's letter to the Galations (5:22-23 & 25): ...the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. ... If we live by the Spirit, let us also be guided by the Spirit. (NRSV)

Aren't these just the qualities we need to survive this pandemic? While we can turn on the TV or news feed and see people flaunting rules and hoarding supplies, we have also seen remarkable acts of selflessness and care for one another.  I hope so very fervently that we can maintain this caring attitude once we are cleared by the experts to resume 'normal' life. And we may need to be especially tolerant of each other when we find out what life looks like beyond our quarantine.

My husband and I, in the way long-married couples do, have shortened the list above into a cliche that governs our common life: "Cut the people you love some slack!" We are entering our fourth week of isolation together, and we're enjoying each other's company and going about these weird days very peaceably. We can each claim a decent supply of spiritual fruits.

I have depended greatly on patience and self-control today. We set out to hook up a new DVR after breakfast.  It seemed easy enough. Everything went swimmingly until I turned on the machine and got the message "wrong region".  What?!?  I've learned a lot about this.  A DVD and its player must be synced to the same region.  It's a technical protocol to help reduce pirating of copyrighted material.  Who knew? The fixes we could find involved entering a numerical code in the machine to override the whole region thing, only.....our remote had no numerical pad. 💥 I visited the Sandoo website, read technical blog posts, yada, yada.  It finally occurred to me to look at the comments on Amazon, where we ordered the player.  Right there in the top line was the 3-step fix for my problem.  Sometimes patience is rewarded with a heart-felt "I DID it!!", even if it came in the late afternoon.

Stay tuned. My new laptop is supposed to be delivered Wednesday!

Lord Jesus, fill us with Spiritual resources as we're put to the test by the corona virus.  Let those who are worried, stressed, tired, sick and at risk find your Word to be a source of comfort and peace.  Amen.

Who would you like to lift into God's life-giving light as you pray today?

Saturday, April 4, 2020

Music to Feed the Soul - Part 1, Sacred Music

Hello friends,

I realized this morning during breakfast how much comfort I'm gaining from our extensive collection of music.  As I've mentioned before, I'm coming up on forty years of marriage to a classically trained cellist, whose career consisted of 42 years as a professor.  There are few financial benefits to life as a music professor, but we can legally deduct LP's, CD's, travel to concerts, etc. on our taxes!  I've greatly enjoyed my easy access to musical expertise, and an idea came to me for sharing.

I follow some blogs that include excellent references to books that fit the interests of the typical reader.  I'd like to offer a similar list of musical favorites.  If you find that you like this kind of post, you can let me know in the comments.  I'm starting with sacred music, since this blog focuses on the life of the spirit.  But deeply moving music exists in many categories:  symphonic music, chamber music, solo piano, vocal music, etc.  I can run this by again in the future if you like it.

We have clung to our luddite roots regarding music.  We listen to LPs and CDs, with the occasional classical music radio (NPR or Symphony Hall on XM). You can still order many of the CDs we own (do your part to make Amazon the only company that survives covid-19!).  Those of you who stream your music will also find numerous options for the suggestions below.

This list is organized roughly chronologically.  Some composers overlap, so it isn't exact.  Dates are approximate and subject to interpretation. Also, this is not intended as an exhaustive list.  These are just favorites of mine.  Add your own in the comments if you'd like.

Sacred Music for the Soul

  • Gregorian chant (pre-1450):  Some of the earliest sacred music was sung during worship in monasteries by monks and nuns.  It is monophonic music, meaning there is a single line of music and no instrumental accompaniment.  Chant tunes borrowed from Jewish and Medieval sources. Chants have been recorded by numerous groups, including Anonymous 4 and the Benedictine Monks of Santo Domingo. 
  • Renaissance (to 1600):  Music saw the beginnings of polyphony, meaning multiple musical lines for various singing voices, along with possible accompaniment by keyboard or ensemble. Composers include Palestrina and Tallis, among others.  
  • The Baroque Period (to 1750):   Of course, the most prolific Baroque composer was J.S. Bach, who's employment involved writing worship pieces for the court at Weimar.  A short-list of 'Greatest Hits' includes: The Magnificat, The St. John Passion, numerous Cantatas featuring soprano voice (look for collections by Lorraine Hunt Lieberson, Kathleen Battle, and Kiri Te Kanawa), along with scads of organ works, many of which we hear in church today as preludes and postludes.
          Vivaldi (Gloria) preceded Bach, and Handel (The Messiah) followed him.
  • The Classical Period (to 1825) saw music become increasingly 'complex' with intricate, identifiable structure reflecting the development of musical instruments and larger ensembles. While some musicians still worked under the employment of a benefactor, others wrote for the public.  Composers of the time include Haydn (Creation) and Mozart (Solemn Vespers, Exultate, Ave Verum Corpus, Requiem). 
  • The Early 19th Century includes many of the most widely recognized classical composers, including Beethoven (Missa Solemnis), Schubert (Mass in D plus other beautiful masses) and Mendelssohn (Elijah).
  • The Late 19th Century includes Brahms (Requiem) and Faure (Requiem).
I get teased at home for ending my classical music tastes about the time of Brahms.  I love the Leonard Bernstein Mass, but am kind of ignorant of other 20th century classical music.

Performance can matter significantly when choosing classical music to enjoy.  Some reliable options are The Academy of St. Martin in the Fields, Robert Shaw and the Atlanta Symphony, and The Choir of King's College.  If I'm taking a leap of faith, I try to stay with known ensembles and conductors (Bernstein, Solti, The NY Phil., The Boston Sym., The Chicago Sym., and the Vienna Phil.)

A couple of outliers I enjoy are The Psalms of David (King's College Choir), collections by the Harvard Glee Club (which tend to include some sacred), and a solo piano CD by Leon Fleisher called  Two Hands (gorgeous playing of Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring and Sheep May Safely Graze, both by Bach).

Hope this hits a sweet spot for you!  I've intentionally made it short and sweet.  Forgive me if I've omitted your favorite.  Feel free to enlighten me!  You will find much fodder for a Lenten state of mind in the many Masses and Requiems on the list.  I cleanse my palate with James Taylor or jazz when I get too serious.  Happy listening.
              
            

Thursday, April 2, 2020

Better than words





This is the sweet pink dogwood in my front yard. We planted it years ago. My husband wrote it off for dead a number of times, but it even survived the 2009 ice storm that cleared the rest of the trees from our lot.

I needed a sign of hope today, and I usually go to the woods for inspiration. I know my favorite riding trail is glorious, but I'm allergic to all the trees that are blooming right now. There's no point in getting my sinuses angry and then fretting that I've contracted the corona virus! 

Can you walk near your home? Or even call up a favorite memory of the earth waking up from winter. Spring reminds me of the familiar Irish blessing:

May the road rise to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face. The rains fall soft upon your fields. And until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand.