Summer to Fall

This is getting embarrassing. I promise to write and then fail to follow through. We have a few weeks this time of year when I'd like to clone myself and send one of me to the barn to ride, one of me out to work in the yard, and one of me off to the lake.  The temperature is perfect and we're starting to get regular rain after the blistering summer. Indoor activities will have to wait until cold weather sets in, which is always too soon for me.

It has come to me from several sources lately that looking at everyday tasks as holy can keep us constantly prayerful. As I have mentioned before, I slip easily into prayer when my hands are busy. Trail riding and time at the lake are perfect for gratitude and worship. Yard work lends itself to intercessions. I ask the Holy Spirit to bring people to mind who can use a prayer and am sometimes surprised at who comes up. 

Here is a reflection before I head to the lake tomorrow:

Glorious God, thank you for the beauty of fall. Help me use my time well with diligence and praise. Thank you for sending Mother Katie to St. Thomas to minister to and with our precious community. Help me to be content with simply putting one foot in front of the other as I go about fall tasks that I'm in a hurry to complete. What gets done, gets done. And that is enough. The changing leaves arouse my anxiety as I know cold weather and seasonal depression are on the horizon. Keep me focused on the majesty of your kingdom and on your unfailing love for me and those around me. Empower me to reach out as your messenger to people you put on my path. My wellbeing rests in you.

Amen

Reunions

Sorry Peeps.  I've been busy getting ready for visitors and uninspired about writing.  We picked up my Ohio daughter from the airport this morning; her husband will join later in the week after putting in a few workdays. We just watched the first Razorback game of the season on TV. I spent most of it scrolling through my phone looking at pictures of my 50th high school reunion, happening this weekend.   

I went to the 40th. To be honest, I did not enjoy high school and harbored much trauma from my days growing up in south Arkansas. I felt the movement of the Holy Spirit to go to that reunion and touch base with my roots as a competent adult with agency over my feelings and behaviors. I did so much mental preparation that I experienced the weekend as OK and somewhat pleasant.  When I mentioned to my priest that I was attending the 40th, having never had any inclination to be present at a reunion, she said, "Well, it's Biblical. 40 years simply means 'long enough'". 

My spiritual work at the moment is about making peace with the past, forgiving myself and others, and letting go of what no longer serves to connect me with what is holy and life-affirming. Experiencing the current reunion from a distance in favor of precious time with my daughter feels right, like I am making progress on living in the moment, where the Holy Spirit dwells.

Precious Savior, bless and heal our memories.  We never can nor would want to lose them, but help us make peace with the past. Empower us to show mercy to our younger selves and the people who had control in our lives. Let the gift of years inform us. Draw our attention to the personal and spiritual growth you have nurtured in us over time. Direct our feet on the path of faith. In You we will know rest and an easy yoke.

Amen

Housework

It is Friday.  It is 100 degrees outside. We had our Friday coffee and browse date at the library this morning. Now it's time to face the music and do some house cleaning. The starting point is the pile of laundry in the utility room. This is a task I do not mind, the way I mind dusting. Sort, pre-treat, load up, move to dryer or hang up, fold and put away. There is a nice rhythm to this process and there is plenty for me to pray about as I progress from dirty piles to clean, folded stacks. I changed the bed too, so there is a treat in store for bedtime tonight.

I like ordinary jobs that provide quick, satisfying results. That's why I enjoy yardwork as well as some housework (not dusting!). Putting my hands to work on familiar tasks frees my mind to allow the Holy Spirit to suggest people who could use prayers and rough spots I can offer up about myself and my life. If you struggle with the routine jobs of life, I recommend Kathleen Norris's small book, The Quotidian Mysteries: Laundry, Liturgy, and "Women's Work". Pick a household job and do it mindfully, with love.  The transformation will take care of itself.

Loving God, come to us in the everyday. Come to us in the small things. Momentous days are few and far between, so we need you to meet us where we spend the most time. Help us to see our daily lives as holy. Help us to accomplish with joy the tasks that put our lives in order that we may better serve you. Sanctify our ordinary lives and help us to hear your voice in the small, quiet moments.

Amen

Imposed Sabbath

I live in the northwest corner of Arkansas where a heat dome has settled, probably for the remainder of August. We had a couple of nice days early last week when I rode Jo as much as possible and worked in the yard. But now we've been driven inside with no relief in sight. It feels a little like the pandemic. I realized I could treat this time as a kind of extended Sabbath imposed by the weather. I don't have to get out for the sake of children or anyone else, so can use some of this time for the spiritual care I often crowd out with busy tasks.

Last Sunday and today, we have had an adult Sunday school class on Clearing the Cluttered Heart: A Soulful Housecleaning. My friend, Vinita, a gifted spiritual director (as well as author, editor, speaker, and Ignatian expert), has led us and proposed a number of practices we might employ ("Don't try to do all of these!") to clear our hearts and minds for the work God puts before us right now.

Here are a few questions/observations that resonate deeply for me:

• What are some items piled up in my inner room - worries, relationships, guilt, failings, regrets, health?
• Am I assuming responsibility that isn't really mine - another person's happiness, for example?
• What got put in my heart by other people? How is that baggage affecting my current situation?
• Am I holding onto unrealistic expectations?
• What spiritual aspects of life am I curious about?

We were also coached on how to rethink and revise the weight (importance) of the 'clutter' we identified and bring the content of our hearts into better balance with how we wish to live. (Am I spending more energy on this than is wise or helpful?) Some things I've been holding onto can be let go or altered or celebrated. What an ideal set of tasks for a blistering hot summer!

Lord Jesus, my desire is to have you fill my heart. Help me with this journey of discernment and inner housekeeping so I can make more room for you and less room for my worldly distractions. I know you want me to live in the time, place, and circumstances of my life, but there is so much to pull my attention away from what is good and holy. I remember how I could think expansively as a child, with imagination and creative energy. Help me recapture some of that curiosity and optimism now that I know more of the ways of the world. My peace rests in you.

Amen

Hello School

Today is the first day of school for most of Northwest Arkansas. Parking lots are full, pick-up locations are marked, and social media is full of back-to-school photos. If I'm honest, first day of school was a joyful day when I was raising my kids. Summer was a footrace of camps, sports, and activities. Neither daughter was adept at 'playing quietly in her room', so I worked hard during the spring to meet sign-up deadlines for things that would keep them occupied and engaged in the summer. Another mom once asked me, "Since you're a stay-home mom, why don't you home school?" 😂😂😂 I loved first day back more than Christmas! And I have the utmost respect for the trained, dedicated professionals in our public schools. I could never give my children all they received in school, both in learning and in socializing.

My girls finished school before campuses became common locations of violence and strife. The school shootings at Columbine, Colorado and Jonesboro, Arkansas occurred during their school days, but those were viewed as outliers. People were horrified and wondered how youngsters got their hands on firearms, but there was nothing like the frequency of school violence we see today. And we did not have to contend with groups who were not educators but banded together to ban books and make restrictive policies regarding LBGTQ+ students in service of a political agenda.

I have grandchildren in grades 5 and 7 who attend a small school district. Even my daughter and her husband occasionally disagree about how to define their social positions. She grew up in our liberal home; he grew up in a conservative home. They are doing an admirable job navigating this political climate with their eyes on the prize - doing what is in their children's best interest and trying to raise kind people. I am proud of them.

I offer this prayer as school year 2023-24 begins:

God of all providence, enfold our schools in the light of your protection. Keep the students, teachers, and staff safe. Let schools return to their mission of teaching. Bless those who teach and those who learn with curiosity, patience, and ability. Empower the people who work to fill in the gaps for students whose home lives are impoverished in any way. Create spaces of tolerance and acceptance where questions are valued and differences celebrated. Jesus, our Savior, was a teacher in his earthly life. Make the way of learning a sacred path.

Amen

Happy Anniversary!

Today is our 43rd wedding anniversary. We got married in south Arkansas during the blistering hot summer of 1980. Thank goodness for air conditioning! My New England-born cellist fiancé was not what my traditional southern family had in mind, but I would not be deterred. A dear friend said in his toast, "I have never actually seen anyone float above the ground until now." Bless you, Chris. I am still floating.

I cannot improve on the beautiful prayer that was said over us after our vows.  I offer it here for all married persons reading this. It is one of my very favorites from the BCP (p. 430):

Most gracious God, we give you thanks for your tender love in sending Jesus Christ to come among us, to be born of a human mother, and to make the way of the cross to be the way of life. We thank you, also, for consecrating the union of man and woman in his Name. By the power of your Holy Spirit, pour out the abundance of your blessing upon this man and this woman. Defend them from every enemy. Lead them into all peace. Let their love for each other be a seal upon their hearts, a mantle about their shoulders, and a crown upon their foreheads. Bless them in their work and in their companionship; in their sleeping and in their waking; in their joys and in their sorrows, in their life and in their death. Finally, in your mercy, bring them to that table where your saints feast for ever in your heavenly home; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who with you and the Holy Spirit lives and reigns, one God for ever and ever. 

Amen

Dog Days

Hello everyone.   This summer has reminded me of summers when my children were growing up - one day school was getting out, and, in a blink, school was starting up again. I am buying back-to-school shoes for my grands and slowing down in the school zones as the teachers prepare for next week.  Horse camps and lake time have flown by.  My intention is to get back to writing more faithfully.

Things are also off to a fresh beginning at my church. Our new rector preached and celebrated for the first time this past Sunday. She moved in July, along with her husband, who landed a job teaching middle school math, and their 9-year-old daughter. We are all so excited they have arrived. Yesterday, she joined our monthly meeting of the Daughters of the King (DOK) and we began talking about how she might call on the group to partner with her in ministry to the parish and beyond.

Two women in our congregation are going through the required discernment process to be formally admitted to the DOK in November. These friends are already mature Christians, so we are able to grapple with serious questions of faith as we join in their process. We have a safe space to discuss our doubts, stumbling blocks, and hopes. Yesterday's meeting had some storm clouds as we have several beloved members of the parish with undiagnosed complex illnesses, life-threatening health problems, trouble with the health-care system, and end of life spiritual needs. One of the main ways we can help is to hold these individuals and families up in prayer.

Lord Jesus, you knew the suffering of the human experience. Even you, Holy One, were not spared. Help us to pray. Help us to turn our loved ones over to your merciful care, as you know best what each person needs. Wrap your arms around those experiencing pain, fear, and frustration. Comfort and strengthen all caregivers. Energize your people to extend the hand of compassion and companionship to those on unwelcome journeys that we all must face at some point. Be our stronghold in times of turmoil.

Amen

Hot!

Our corner of Northwest Arkansas has been under extreme heat warnings for several weeks now. Back in May, when I started working in the yard after a wet Spring, I figured "what I don't get done in May, I can do in June". Not so. The heat moved in quickly and forcefully. I'm still plugging along on the yard a few minutes at a time as I come home from the barn already hot and sweaty. I will help next week with another (final) round of horse camp. I can only tolerate the mornings and will head for home by noon. 

I wonder how anyone can still argue with the advance of climate change. The signs are pretty unmistakable as measurable weather trends continue to break records. I remember pondering from a tender age how our 'advanced' society, with its vehicles and machines of production (I grew up in a refinery town), fit in with God's creation. It has always seemed to me that our American way of life conflicted in many ways with the natural world. I am as dependent as anyone on my gasoline powered car and my air conditioning, but I fear we have crossed a tipping point with our environment. Woe be unto us as ocean currents shift and the very rhythm of life is disrupted.

God of Creation, we have failed at our role as caretakers of Your earth. Let me fall on my knees before you to ask forgiveness. It may be too late to salvage certain lands and ways of living as the industrialized world has gobbled up resources at the expense of the developing world. Much of our sinfulness can be attributed to greed. We want products and creature comforts that degrade the environment, and we are loath to rein in our habits. Give me and my fellow wealthy brothers and sisters the will and the commitment to change our ways and to consider first how our behaviors affect our neighbors. Our neighbors include everyone on "this fragile earth, our island home." (Eucharistic Prayer C, BCP, p. 370)

Back from Vacation

We are back home from a week of cabin time. We even left the basset hound home with a sitter. He tolerates the lake but doesn't love it unless he's out on a sniff. It is way too hot and buggy for that! So, we were able to read, work all kinds of puzzles, and eat well. As a frien used to say, "let your soul catch up to you". 

I have been back long enough to attend church and get to the barn.  Yesterday's Gospel was from Matthew: the parable of the weeds that grew up with the good seed. The parable instructs us that Jesus said to leave the weeds alone until the harvest when they would be bound and burned (by the angels at the 'end of the age'). The preacher went on to ask us "Where are the weeds in your life"? She quickly put to rest any notion I might have had that my life is pure and without weeds! After her list of examples, I'm sure we all have weeds. 

I was able to apply the lessons immediately when I arrived at the barn and it was confirmed for me that a certain riding instructor had been asked (told) to vacate the property by mid-August.  I have not been a fan for quite some time, and it was easy to jump into the gossip about how much more pleasant the barn is now (well, it is!). Finding fault with this person takes no effort (she really is annoying and takes advantage!).  Along with my compadres, I am glad she is moving on. But that has to point to a major weed patch in my heart. Though this woman behaves in ways that turn people away, surely she deserves my compassion. Her life is, and probably always will be, difficult. The defenses she was forced to develop to survive a hardscrabble childhood no longer serve her well, but she is loath to change. That is something to mourn, not just gossip about.

It would probably be a good idea to revisit the collect for purity I discussed a few posts back.

Lord Jesus, cleanse my heart from ill will toward others, including and especially those I don't care for. Every human face belongs to one of your beloved children. Help me to see people more as You see them, with the eyes of compassion and mercy. Help me tame my tongue when gossip flies. Remind me how often you accept my faults and stay by my side. Nurture the good seed in me and protect me from the weeds.

Amen

Horse Camp

I have spent this week helping out with horse day camp at my boarding stable. With the owner out of town and one of the teachers out for a knee replacement, they needed extra bodies. Today (Friday) the campers dolled their horses up in braids, bows, and ribbons and demonstrated for parents what they have learned this week. What a journey it has been since Monday! Each camper navigated the pattern today with confidence and success, even the ones who were tearful with fear on day one. Each introduced him/herself and told a bit about the horse s/he had ridden for the week. Everyone finished with a big smile of satisfaction and pride of accomplishment.

I wonder if we appear to God this way as we try to mature into our faith. I wonder if God delights as we master a prayer practice or grow into a ministry.  I wonder if God smiles when we act more Christlike, even if just for a fleeting moment. 

My granddaughter, Sadie, got in a hurry and flubbed her emergency dismount at the end of the pattern. She kept her foot in the stirrup too long and tumbled clumsily to the ground as her saddle rolled to the (patient) horse's side. The instructor pointed out for the crowd that Sadie's experience was exactly why we practice the emergency dismount for those times when we need to bail in a hurry. She re-fitted the saddle, Sadie climbed back aboard, and executed a perfect dismount, to applause all around. I was able to tell Sadie I was even more impressed that she persevered than if she had nailed it the first time. I hope and fervently believe we get that kind of acceptance of our flaws from our loving God. How much it must mean when we dust ourselves off and keep trying on spiritual matters!

Lord God, look with your merciful eyes on our clumsy attempts. We want to please you. We want to discern your will. We want to walk the path you have chosen for us. Give us the courage to persevere and to keep trying when we fall into sin, hurt someone we love, or otherwise fall short of your ideal. Help us forgive ourselves and others as you have forgiven all of us.

Amen

The BCP

We had an excellent Sunday school class yesterday on the Prayer Book, formally The Book of Common Prayer. Our lives in the Episcopal Church are structured around the content of this book with the most recent published edition dated 1979. There is continued discussion of additions and changes to the BCP at the General Conventions of the EC. There have been jokes that Episcopalians know their Prayer Books better than their Bibles.  But, in all seriousness, the Book contains our prayers, the services we use on Sundays and at other times, an outline of our beliefs, and our liturgical calendars.  It is a rich resource to guide us on our Christian journeys.

Yesterday, we focused on the prayers. There are 2 main sections of prayers: The Collects (pp. 159-261), and Prayers and Thanksgivings (pp. 810-841). A Collect ('col-ect) is a prayer form that addresses God and then makes a request, such as guidance, blessing, or strength. We read a seasonal one each Sunday as part of the Eucharistic service, and there are additional ones for Holy days and special purposes. 

I know these powerful prayers are available, but I often forget to turn to them when my prayer life goes dry. Perhaps, like me, you tire of always praying the same prayers in the same form.  I lose enthusiasm for my prayer time when I get bored, and I feel it may kind of insult God if I ask for the same things over and over as if I don't trust that I am being heard.

Whatever your faith tradition, I commend to you the Book of Common Prayer for these excellent sections. There are prayers for most topics including The Church, the world, families, communities, illness, and so on. You can find a helpful list on pp. 810-813. One prayer practice we considered yesterday was to turn the weekly collect into a personal prayer for the week by changing the pronouns 'us' and 'we' to 'I' and 'me'. As our leader pointed out, "strap on your seatbelt, for this can be more powerful than you expect".

I will share as today's prayer one of my favorite prayers in the Prayer Book, the Collect for Purity that is said every Sunday at the beginning of the service to help us transition from the outside world into worship (p. 323 and p. 355):

Almighty God, to you all hearts are open, all desires known, and from you no secrets are hid: Cleanse the thoughts of our hearts by the inspiration of your Holy Spirit, that we may perfectly love you, and worthily magnify your holy Name; through Christ our Lord. Amen

Distraction

Have you had that experience where one project leads to another, to another, to another? That's what it has been like to replace our refrigerator.  A cabinet had to be removed, that cabinet needed slider drawers I had been using in the bathroom, then we needed something to hold the towels... So instead of blogging and thinking about prayers, I have been traipsing the aisles of Target and Wal-Mart.  There is something wrong with this - those places are so dehumanizing. And I hate buying plastic (needed in the fridge). So, grrrr. But the kitchen is back together with some improvements. And something in this mix even drew me to clean out my adult daughter's former closet..

How does that kind of experience, when we're drawn away from what we desire to do by the daily grind, inform our spiritual lives? I feel gratitude that we can afford to live in the modern world with its conveniences.  I pray for all who live in poverty, distress, and need. But there must be something God has to say to me when the world captures attention and time better spent on the holy.

Creator God, Your kingdom is not concerned with the detritus of daily life on earth. That's one thing I expect to be struck by when I can spend eternity in your close presence. But you must have some agency in our earthly lives. Where are you in my distraction? Are you patiently waiting for me to turn my attention back to You? Are you there in the store with me? Maybe You simply want me to gaze on my fellow shoppers with eyes of compassion. Maybe you want me to recognize You in the employees who work long hours in an ugly environment. Maybe you are asking me to rethink my footprint in this life and reduce my belongings. Bring the right questions into my mind, I pray. Lead me Lord into your path of Righteousness.

Amen

Help With Despair

I am posting a second time today while my memory is fresh. I have experienced the past week as one of upheaval in our country and the world. There are wars and natural disasters underway. But my sense of despair has to do with man-made chaos. The US Supreme Court has continued this week with a pattern of decisions that I feel are restrictive to certain groups of people and impose a political viewpoint on the country that does not represent the majority of citizens. The justices are appointed, not elected, and serve for life. It stirs my anger and angst when it appears the majority is codifying a political position that isn't theirs to impose. My evening prayer one night this week was simply, "Help! I am overwhelmed with despair."

Today's service at St. Thomas was like a lifeline. The Scripture readings, the hymns, and the sermon all spoke to the help I need. From the first lesson from Jeremiah (about prophets) came this: "The prophets who preceded you and me from ancient time prophesied war, famine, and pestilence against many countries and great kingdoms. As for the prophet who prophesies peace, when the word of that prophet comes true, then it will be known that the Lord has truly sent the prophet." I needed my fears calmed by the reminder that God's Kingdom is one of peace, not division and strife. There will always be people who sow fear to advance their personal power.

The sermon hymn, #609, opens with: "Where cross the crowded ways of life, where sound the cries of race and clan, above the noise of selfish strife, we hear thy voice, O Son of Man." Isn't that about the most comforting message you can imagine for dealing with the world's problems? If we can listen for the voice of Jesus, our hearts can be calmed.

An advantage of being a supply priest is that you can 'burn the house down' and not have to answer the phone on Monday morning. Our preacher this morning used her sermon to great effect on this 4th of July weekend. She addressed the desire of some that we become a "Christian nation". We can't even agree on what that means. I wouldn't want to be the type of Christian that embodies that kind of arrogance about other peoples' God. She talked about past attitudes toward immigrants, and that any of us who are not Native Americans fall into that category. She reminded us that our country came to the aid of Germany and Japan, our mortal enemies, to help them rebuild after WWII. There have been times when we were compassionate, big-hearted, generous, and forward thinking. Much good was accomplished and many lives were improved during those times.

God of all providence, stir in our hearts the desire for all Your blessed children to thrive. Turn our attention to how we can shine your light in our own communities. Strengthen us for Your service. Guide us in the way of peace. Show us how to live day by day in a world that has drifted far from the peaceful example of Jesus.

Amen

Thank You

I follow a blogger called horsehippie on Instagram, and she posts a Morning Mantra. I like it because it's a brief, pithy suggestion that I can carry around all day.  A few days ago, she posted "If you only say one prayer, let it be, Thank You". (All of her posts include a photo of a beautiful horse, of course.) That message has had staying power. 

Since about April, my husband and I have done big repairs on: air conditioning at both home and cabin, old Ford truck I use to pull the horse trailer, and my 14 y.o. Honda Element. We have replaced the water heater and fridge at the lake, roofs at home and cabin, and, yesterday, the fridge at home. We're feeling kind of picked on in the expense department. But my husband stopped short yesterday and said, "At least it's stuff that's broken and not us." What a change in perspective! We have friends who are fighting cancer, dementia, serious injuries from an accident, and deaths of adult children. We have friends who are raising their grandchildren because the parents are unable to overcome their addictions. We can manage problems with our creature comforts. Heck, I'm even laying out problems with our 2nd home here. Our bounty overwhelms and sometimes embarrasses me. 

Gracious and loving God, thank you. For the life you chose for me. For my 43-year marriage to my true love. For my family and friends. For the animal friends you have brought into my life. For the place I call home. For my access to medical care. For my freedom to worship. For our chance to enjoy retirement. For the restorative natural world. For the times in my life when You have healed me and equipped me to move forward. For the many mothers and fathers who have mentored me. For all of it, I give You thanks.

Amen

Obits

 My husband receives the Harvard alumni magazine.  I usually read through a few of the articles about faculty research and campus activities, but what really fascinates me are the obituaries. As graduates of a renowned university, many alums go on to noteworthy careers in medicine, academia, statesmanship, and entrepreneurship.  There are very few remaining grads from my parents' generation, but, almost to a person, they served their country in WWII and Korea, even if they had to return later to finish college. If someone graduated with any type of honors, it is noted beside their name and year. Rather than being a ghoulish activity, this time spent with the deceased reminds me how many of the privileged among us pour their lives into worthy endeavors.  Their early years dictated that many who attended Harvard would have access to a 'big stage'. I know there are shameful remnants of our country's past, especially among racial minorities, but some seem to live by the mantra "to whom much is given, much is required".

Lord Jesus, Yours is not a kingdom of "haves" and "have nots". There is no privilege due to wealth, intelligence, connections, or even sheer luck in heaven. But we do learn through Scripture of people like Joseph of Arimathea who stepped forward at critical times to further Your plan. Help us all to use our resources to Your glory, whatever those resources may be - time, talent, money, inspiration, dedication, and education. Bless those who teach and those who learn in all schools that truth and integrity may inform our common life.

Amen

Tired

This was a wedding weekend. My daughter and son-in-law were here for her best friend's wedding. It was a beautiful event from start to finish, we caught up with friends from other towns, and enjoyed ourselves immensely. And we had the chance to celebrate Emily & Sam's anniversary with brunch at their reception venue before delivering them to the airport. But I find myself weary this Sunday evening. I've never been much of a party-er, and my introverted self needs to retreat to my comfortable place.

Where does tiredness fit into our spiritual journey? We know from scripture that God rested on the seventh day of creation and that Jesus could sleep through a raging sea storm in the front of the boat. I retain a feeling from my early years that I need to be busy all the time, although it doesn't suit me, especially as the years pile up. Maybe it is a spiritual quest for me to embrace rest and renewal. Can any of you relate?

Lord Jesus, sanctify our rest. Send your Holy Spirit to surround us and protect us from harm as we let go of our illusion of control. Our Creator God made all parts of us, including our need for renewal. Draw near to us as we release our concerns to you. Enable us to relax into your peace.

Amen

Friends

I was one of 3 hostesses for a bridesmaid's luncheon today. The bride is my daughter Emily's best friend since their days in kindergarten. I went down a rabbit hole on a sewing project that interfered with my blog writing, but the personalized tablecloths were a big hit.  It was a joy to bring together friends and family members of the couple for the first celebration of the weekend. The friend group is in the busy years of marrying and starting families, and I love catching up on their lives and meeting their young children.

The activities surrounding this wedding remind me of the unrivaled blessing of long-term friendships. New friends are a delight, but sharing a history with someone gives a friendship an added dimension. We laughed today about the first-grade field trip to see the dinosaur exhibit at the U. of Arkansas museum and how scary the animated T. Rex was to those little 6-year-olds. There were many years of playing basketball and volleyball together. And I reminisced with the bride's grandmother about celebrating their high-school graduation together. No doubt, there will be more to come.

Gracious and merciful God, thank you for the gift of friendship. You created Adam and Eve and placed them in the garden to be companions to one another and to You. Were you lonely? We hear repeatedly in Scripture and in our Eucharistic prayers that what You most want from us is relationship. Jesus selected a group of friends to travel ancient Palestine with Him and to continue His earthly ministry after He returned to You. He modeled for us that ministry is relational. We cannot be Christians by ourselves, in isolation. We learn what it means to serve by seeing ourselves reflected in the eyes of our community. Draw us into the Spirit's orbit by surrounding us with friends who wish to share the journey. Then plant your Holy Spirit in our hearts and in our midst as we seek to know and serve You.

 Amen

Holy Father, Great Creator

When the organ introduced the processional hymn this morning, I was hurled back to my early childhood in my Episcopal church in southern Arkansas. Something about "Holy Father, Great Creator" (# 358) sent my memory back through the decades and I was in a pew beside my mother in that lovely church watching the sun stream through those gorgeous stained-glass windows. At those moments, I am grateful that my parents brought me up in a tradition that I found attractive enough to claim as my own as an adult. 

I am deeply concerned about the chasm between the 'haves' and the 'have nots' in our country today. The Gospel reading today was from Matthew 9, known by many as the Great Commission, when Jesus sends the 12 Apostles into the world to carry out His work. In her sermon, the preacher brought "cure the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, cast out demons" forward into our time by suggesting how we can bring kindness and compassion into the lives of the sick in spirit, those who are dead to faith in God's love, the marginalized (our lepers), and those whose lives are brought low by demons, be they addictions, sinful behaviors, or other barriers to a life in Christ. It is a blessing that continues to unfold that the church of my childhood addresses the concerns of my adult heart.

My beloved dad was also a participant in the life of that church, as I remembered him on this Father's Day. He was an usher, a choir member, and a vestry member. He designed the parish rectory (he was an architect) as his gift to the church. Tomorrow would have been his 99th birthday. While few make it to that age, he was robbed of much life when his 3rd heart attack killed him at 38. I have missed him dearly for 60+ years.

Father God, Creator of the Universe, hear my prayers for Your church on this day. Speak to us through each other and through Your ordained ministers. May the blessed Holy Spirit prepare our hearts and minds to hear what you have to tell us, and may we find the energy and grace to follow Your call to service. While we cannot do all the work, we can do what you put before us on our path. Rejoice with those who have loving fathers, comfort those who miss their fathers, and heal those whose fathers hurt them in any way. Bless those who have stepped into the breach for fatherless children, especially Max Methvin, Charlie Moseley, and Carey Clark.

Amen

Ordinary Time

I belong to a liturgical tradition. Episcopal churches throughout the world adhere to a liturgical calendar that provides options for scripture readings. psalms, and Gospel readings for each Sunday and major holy days. There are also calendars of weekday scripture readings that many in the faith follow as a guide to their life of prayer and service.  The liturgical calendar for Sundays is divided into 3 years (A, B, and C), one to feature each of the synoptic Gospels: Matthew, Mark, and Luke. John's Gospel is sprinkled among the 3 years, often in the celebratory seasons of Christmas and Easter. Over the 3 years, we hear most of the Bible during Sunday services.

We begin the church year with Advent in late November when we spend 4 weeks preparing for the arrival of Emmanuel, 'God with us', in the form of Jesus. The seasons fall into a natural grouping: Advent, Christmas, and Epiphany come first. Then Lent, Holy Week, and Easter, which for us is a 50-day season. That covers about 6 months.  A long season follows the day of Pentecost, comprising the other roughly 6 months. Each season has traditional colors that are reflected in the altar hangings and the clergy vestments.

Pentecost Sunday was 3 Sundays back, followed by Trinity Sunday (both special Sundays in the life of the church). Last Sunday (2 days back) I walked into church to the green altar hangings. Yea!! I love Pentecost season, known also by the name 'ordinary time'. I have favorite moments in the high-energy seasons, usually having to do with music. But my heart resides in ordinary time. The scripture readings during Pentecost season focus on Jesus's life and ministry - his parables, his sermons, his miracles. Each time I hear the stories, I hear them with new ears and draw different lessons.

Ordinary time matches the rhythm of my life: maintaining my home and yard, riding Jo in my horse community, enjoying family time, and celebrating time with Stephen (usually coffee dates). Putting my hands to work frees my mind and heart to seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit. People come to my attention who may be in need of prayer, and I am reminded of God's presence throughout my life as I reflect on my life experiences. This opportunity to 'abide' with the Spirit is harder to come by when I'm trying to get ready for Christmas and such.

Blessed Lord, shine your light into my heart during this season of reflection. Show me how you have worked in me in the past and reveal the next step you have planned for my journey. Above all, soften my heart toward anyone I have held at a distance and increase the kindness I show to others. Make these 'ordinary' weeks come alive with your presence.

Amen

Downpour

Today I assisted the barn owner with a paid ride, which is when we take riders out on a trail ride on the string of horses kept for that purpose. These are great trail horses, lively enough to be fun to ride, but experienced and safe for novice riders. This was a birthday ride of 5 young women, 3 of whom were sisters. There was one slight problem. The ride was booked for 1:30 and we had just enough time to beat the rain that was forecast for mid-afternoon. One of our guests was half an hour late. When we were as far from the barn as possible, standing in the west fork of the White River for the horses to drink, big drops began to fall. We rode home (about 30 minutes), not in a sprinkle, but in a driving rain. The shower that felt good initially became cold when the wind picked up. My horse, Jo, experienced a tornado as a youngster, and will always be hyper vigilant in a storm. I spent the ride home trying to ease her anxiety and help her stay calm.

I rode half the ride on an amped up horse. Then drove home in rain so hard people pulled over to let it ease up. There were flash flood warnings, and I drove through some backed up water on the city streets. I got home, got dry, had pie and hot tea with my sweet husband, and settled into my easy chair with the warm basset hound. 

I am very rarely challenged with a situation that has scary aspects. I keenly felt the relief of pulling into my driveway, safe at home where I could reset and regain my equilibrium. I'm reminded tonight of how my faith has delivered me to safe shores throughout my life.

God of all providence, thank you for taking care of us today. Thank you for the calm horses on the trail string. Thank you for the experience that brings wisdom when the unexpected crops up. Thank you for safe transportation and a comfortable home. I pray for all throughout the world who lack basic necessities for a variety of reasons. Let today's experience remind me to trust You and ask to feel Your close presence when I am afraid.

Amen

Abundance

My apologies for the delay in posting. I feel I'm in a race with the summer heat to get my yard in order. I do not have an "off" switch when I'm working in the yard and come in with barely the energy for a much-needed shower.

We have been blessed this month with some wonderful adult Sunday school sessions with one of St. Thomas's great treasures. My friend, Vinita, was an editor at Loyola Press for over 20 years and is considered one of the country's leading experts on Ignatian spirituality (though she is Episcopalian). She is a writer and an experienced retreat leader. We enjoyed several Sundays on pilgrimage and how to nurture a pilgrim's heart. This past Sunday, we discussed 'scarcity vs. abundance' under her guidance.  It has had a profound impact on me, and I may return to it in additional posts. 

After her opening comments, we discussed at our tables what kind of attitude we learned from our parents. Most of my table mates did not know much about their parents' attitudes toward money and belongings. I was the only one privy to that information as a child. I was 8 years old when my dad died, and that marked the point when 'childhood' ended. As the only child of my widowed mother, she shared with me her concerns that we would not have enough money coming in. The fact was that she had a college education, rare for women in the '50s, and was offered a job in a corporate legal department where she had worked before I was born. We lived in a modest house, but there were just 2 of us. I have never gone hungry, lacked a comfortable home, or been without basic necessities and a great deal beyond. I think her sense of scarcity had more to do with her expectations (my dad was an architect) and the weight on her shoulders to provide for us than with our reality.

50+ years later, my husband and I have joined the rest of our contemporaries in embracing American consumer culture. I feel increasingly guilty about this. We have bought 'stuff' beyond what we need, to the point where I am trying to reduce the clutter in our home. In fact, we own 2 homes, one in town and a cabin at the lake. There is not only no scarcity in my life, but in terms of what we own, overflowing abundance.

I recognize that this question of abundance is on my plate as a spiritual quest at this point in my life. Of course, I understand rationally that our abundance does not dwell in belongings as followers of Jesus. But, as we neared the cliff on the debt ceiling last week, my mind went immediately to "What will happen to our retirement savings?", etc. There is still a fear in my heart that what I have can be taken away.

My sweet church family has embraced a woman who parked her car in our lot and took up residence. She comes in on Sunday and joins us for services and coffee hour. We have come to care about her. She belongs to the family. She hasn't asked for anything. She simply showed up. People take her to buy groceries, and a couple with an extra bedroom has gently offered to let her stay with them. I take this as a living, breathing challenge to my long-held beliefs. They need to change if I am to claim my faith.

Lord Jesus, You came into this world to show us how to live. You were an unsettling presence in Your culture as You are in ours. Truly following you requires a radical shift in attitude away from our ingrained cultural beliefs and habits. Help me to hear your voice and recognize when you are speaking to me about my choices. Help me to change what needs changing. Give me courage to follow the path you set before me. Let my discomfort and shame about the unfairness of the world move me to action.

Amen

Library Day

Friday is library date morning for us unless it is overridden by an appointment of some kind or of being out of town.  My stack from today includes "Pickleball is Life" and "Refashion Your Wardrobe".  I think I am officially an old fuddy duddy.

Out of curiosity, I looked up 'library' in the Harper's Bible Dictionary (6th ed., 1957) that I inherited from my grandfather and for which he paid $7.95. It was an interesting post. Archeologists had discovered libraries in the ancient Middle East that contained "clay tablets, parchment scrolls, papyri, and codices on which temple literature and sacred records were written. Much that found its way into the Bible was safeguarded in someone's library." I'm sure much has been added to that treasure in the intervening years. Part of the appeal of the library for me is the wealth of what is to be discovered in terms of imagination, writing skill, dedication to craft, and sheer knowledge waiting to be found, even in a modern building with an experienced staff.

Lord of all knowledge, bless the keepers of history. Guide those seeking to understand the time that Jesus lived. The Bible and other sacred writing of that time was tied to a culture and written by human hands. Inform our study of Scripture and lead us as we try to connect those ancient words to the world we live in today. Give us wisdom to hear and reflect on Your word.

Amen

Memorial Day

Well, here we are the day after Memorial Day. I had the desire to post yesterday, but no idea how to address the holiday. I hate the thought of war, and my heart hurts for those who experience it firsthand. My parents were members of the "Greatest Generation". My dad, along with my grandfather, 2 uncles, and many friends fought in WWII. My dad was a First Lieutenant in the Army who "flew the hump" piloting a supply plane over the Himalayas.  My grandfather was a Lt. Col. in the Navy and was one of the first engineers trained as a frogman. His tales of how a rescue boat would speed by to pick up the swimmers were hair-raising. You got one chance to grab your rope and come aboard. They were brave and did their duty with honor. I am proud of them. 

But I still have trouble with the knowledge that war has been with us since the beginning of time. It seems to be triggered by things we try to avoid in our walk with God - greed, fear, nativism, prejudice, and arrogance, among others. We have watched for over a year as Russia has carried out an unprovoked attack on its neighbor Ukraine. People who have taken on the mantle of leadership have no choice but to take a stand and choose a course of action.

As I was working in the yard today, I remembered a gentleman who made a generous donation to the music department were my husband was chair for 10 years (he also coached me on the use of mulch in my garden beds). This lovely man, who became our friend, was career military. His appointment was primarily in procurement. As a retiree, he donated a 'quartet' of stringed instruments - 2 violins, viola, and cello - to be used by students who didn't own a nice instrument to play during college.

Carl spoke at the chamber concert when the instruments were dedicated. And this is what he said (in my words, but close): I have seen much of the worst that humans can inflict upon one another. I have seen war up close and personal. I have lost friends and comrades, and know the grief that war inflicts far and wide. That is why I made myself a promise that, after my service, I would seek out opportunities to contribute to the beauty that humans are also capable of. I hope these instruments will help some of our students rise to their potential and put more beauty out into the world. If you can find some spare shekels to put toward the good things, you will be repaid many times over.

Isn't that a beautiful statement of resurrection, of Easter joy in the world today?

Loving God, hold in your care all who engage in military service throughout the world. Make Your presence known to them through the blessed Holy Spirit. Keep them safe in body and mind. Receive those who die on the battlefield into Your glorious presence. Strengthen and guide all who work for peace in our country and around the world. Give our leaders the will to take care of those who come home bearing the traumas of war. Sustain soldiers and families whose lives are changed forever. May we work for "Thy Kingdom Come" where there is no war and no suffering.

Amen

Water

It is good to be back in town, although we thoroughly enjoyed our time at the lake. A common theme between going to our cabin at Beaver Lake and trail riding at Lake Sequoyah park is water.  Each day at the cabin we walked down to the neighborhood dock and sat with the water.  Unlike this weekend, which will be a time of partying and crowds, we had the dock to ourselves on the weekdays.  Today I went on 2 trail rides to take out people who had booked a ride on the farm's trail string, something we do most weekends. We ride right alongside Lake Sequoyah, a man-made lake on the White River, then come to the river itself below the dam. An 8-year-old girl on our first ride was absolutely delighted that her horse likes to splash in the water. The giggles were infectious!

I was trying to think of what I could write for a post tonight and was reminded of the prayer we say over the water when someone, often a baby, is baptized in an Episcopal church.  It is about my favorite prayer in the current prayer book.  It was said at the baptisms of my 2 daughters and my 2 grandchildren, but would not have been said when I was baptized in the '50s.  I'm so glad it was added to our worship.

We thank you Almighty God, for the gift of water. Over it the Holy Spirit moved in the beginning of creation. Through it you led the children of Israel out of their bondage in Egypt into the land of promise. In it your Son Jesus received the baptism of John and was anointed by the Holy Spirit as the Messiah, the Christ, to lead us, through his death and resurrection, from the bondage of sin into everlasting life.

We thank you, Father, for the water of Baptism. In it we are buried with Christ in his death. By it we share in his resurrection. Through it we are reborn by the Holy Spirit. Therefore in joyful obedience to your Son, we bring into his fellowship those who come to him in faith, baptizing them in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

The Book of Common Prayer, p. 306

No wonder I feel transformed in the presence of water.

Amen

Gifts of the Spirit

Well, I thought last night's post was the last before my trip to the lake, but I got clobbered with another 'coincidence' (hello Holy Spirit!) this morning. I mentioned in "Commencement" the sevenfold gifts of the Spirit. Then this morning, Rev. Joanna Seibert's "Posts from Daily Something" touched on them as well. 

The fruit of the Spirit is presented to us in Galatians 5: 22-23: love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance. (I know, that makes 9. All the better). This is the wall of the chapel at Kenyon College in Ohio, where I attended their first spiritual writing conference in 2014. It was a transformative experience.

Lord God, may we all write these qualities on our hearts and pray for your help to live them in our lives. To the glory of your name.

Amen

Commencement

Yesterday (Sunday) we had a graduation party at the farm where I board Jo.  One of our own graduated from high school in the Class of 2023. She has been with us since she was about 7, and we have watched her grow from a precious child into a poised young woman.  She received a generous, well-deserved financial aid package to attend college at a small private school in our state where she will get a fine education. We have her for the summer to help with horsey day camps and ride training horses.  It is easy to celebrate her graduation as she has the intelligence, work ethic, and ambition to chase her dream of becoming a lawyer.

I remember thinking of my H.S. graduation as an "end". The end of my time living at 'home' full time. The end of growing up in my small southern town. The end of life as I had known it to that point.  With the perspective of years, I can see that it was the "beginning" of life outside my childhood cocoon. While I was slow to claim my independence from my lonely, widowed mother, I started a journey that would carry me into the marriage and life I was meant to live.

Prayer for this Season of Graduations

Lord Jesus, draw near to those who are graduating this spring. Help them as they begin college or jobs or travel or partnerships or whatever comes next. Hold them in Your care through these bittersweet days of saying goodbye and forging a path forward. Send them forth with the sevenfold gifts of the Spirit to make the world a better place. Sustain them through disappointments; shield them through times of joy. May the energy and optimism of our young friends and family bring peace to our world and help to relieve suffering in its many forms. In Your holy name we pray.

Amen

P.S. We are heading to the lake tomorrow.  I will be back at the end of the week. Take good care.

Intercessions

I belong to a women's order called the Daughters of the King (DOK). Our main purpose is to help our clergy with the work of the church, so the tasks may differ by congregation. One thing we do in the St. Julian's chapter is pray regularly for the members of our congregation. We divide up the roster and rotate the lists every 3 months such that each of us gets to pray for everyone over the year and every member is lifted up by us as well as our priests. I have not had an easy time with this commitment even though I am experienced at intercessory prayer.  I can easily pray for someone I know to be struggling (one member on my current list was in a serious car accident; another is recovering from covid).  But I find that I cannot simply read my list to God.  God knows better than I do what each person needs, so may appreciate my efforts, but I find it a dry, unsatisfying way to pray. So I asked the Holy Spirit for help (why do I so often turn to this when I'm exasperated and not earlier?).

The answer I got was this: choose 3 people in the morning when you set your intentions for the day. Lift them into God's light throughout the day as they come to mind. Ask God to provide for their needs in whatever way is best for them. 

I often group things into 3s - probably influenced by a lifetime in a Trinitarian tradition - so this seems to be working. Thanks for the help!

God of grace and peace, help me to be diligent in my prayers. Bring people to my mind who need to be lifted up for Your gracious mercy. Soften my heart toward anyone I hold at a distance. As you do what I ask for others, grow me into the child of God you created me to be.

Amen

Faith

I woke up this morning, as I often do, with a hymn in my head. It was an Easter hymn, #209, "We walk by faith". Then I was scrolling through my Instagram and ran across this Daughters of the King post: "Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe." - Saint Augustine

Hmmm. To reflect on "faith" is my task today. There are certain things about the kingdom of God that we will not understand on this side. Why do the innocent suffer? Was there really a virgin birth? Did Jesus really walk through walls to appear to people after the resurrection? Why were we given free will so that Adam and Eve had the option to sin in the garden? I don't know.  And I don't trust the statements of anyone who claims to know the mind of God. I like the quote by Anne Lamott in Plan B, "The opposite of faith is not doubt, but certainty."

So living this earthly life in faith of a heavenly kingdom requires letting go of control. I am drawn to my denomination because there is room for doubt and questions. We believe a healthy faith community creates a safe space for discussion and is enriched by diversity of heritage, lifestyle, thought, and opinion.  May our experience, study, and worship strengthen our faith.

Hymn 209

We walk by faith, and not by sight;

no gracious words we hear 

from him who spoke as none e'er spoke;

but we believe him near.

We may not touch his hands or side,

nor follow where he trod;

but in his promise we rejoice;

and cry, "My Lord and God!"

Help then, O Lord, our unbelief;

and may our faith abound,

to call on you when you are near,

and seek where you are found.

that, when our life of faith is done,

in realms of clearer light

we may behold you as you are,

with full and endless sight.

Amen

Healthy Boy

Here is sleepy Luke basset coming home from his vet appointment.  His retired 'hoomans' have spoiled him so much he needs light sedation for his check-up and pedicure. I am reminded what a privilege it is to be given stewardship of our precious animal companions.

Thank you, God, for Luke and Jo and all beloved animals you have entrusted to our care. Give us wisdom and compassion to care for them. They show us a simple love and devotion, much like that of children. I expect to find 'on the other side' that they have spiritual gifts that can swamp ours. I know they bring uncomplicated love directly into our lives and our laps to remind us of Your love. Give Luke a long healthy life and keep me mindful of his needs.

Amen
 

If Ye Love Me

This morning's Gospel was John 14:15-21.  Hearing it read carried me back to high school, when I sang in a wonderful choir of teens in my grandparents' Methodist church.  Thomas Tallis set the text to music, and I commend to you several recordings on YouTube.  I really liked one recorded by the King's Singers, each from their six separate homes, during covid lockdown. What a wonderful message for times of trial. Here is the anthem as today's prayer:

If Ye Love Me, Keep My Commandments

If ye love me, keep my commandments.

And I will pray the Father, and He shall give you another comforter.

That He may 'bide with you forever,

E'en the spirit of truth.

The word 'abide' keeps coming up in my life, in music, in blessings, in texts.  These unplanned word plants usually mean I could benefit by meditating on the word, its commonly held meaning, and what it might mean as a guidepost in my life. What does it mean for you to abide in me and me in you? Let us sit with that awhile.

Home Again

We are back from our lake vacation and started right in with a service on my car this morning. It was supposed to be oil change and tire rotation, but ... the front brakes were worn. Gotta have brakes, right? I was reminded on my way to the dealership in Rogers that the traffic on I49 requires a well-maintained car, plus it was raining heavily.  It is harder to find God in this kind of environment than at the lake, but I have much to be thankful for nonetheless.

Lord God, thank you that we are safely home from taking the car north for repairs. It's not that you keep me safe and visit accidents on other people. But I do feel the Holy Spirit helping me to stay focused and calm when the traffic is heavy and the weather a challenge. Thank you for our faithful friend, Marilyn, who came by to care for the dog when we got delayed. And thank you that we have agreed to be cautious with money so we can pay for most unexpected expenses as they come up.  There are always reasons to be thankful during an ordinary day in an ordinary life.

Amen

As you look back on this day so far, can you nurture gratitude in your heart?

Spring Sojourn

 

Hello friends. This is the view of Beaver Lake from the screen porch of our cabin there. We are headed to the lake for a few days, where I have no service. I will be back end of the week. Please let this view of God's glorious creation be my prayer for the day. May you be blessed with eyes to see and ears to hear the Presence all around us. God bless.

Waymarkers

 

This morning in adult Sunday school, we had a wonderful presentation on pilgrimage. Our teacher, a good friend with deep spiritual intuition, recently returned from a pilgrimage in the Holy Land. We will be privy to more personal and specific content next week, but today was an introduction to pilgrimage in general - what it is, how to approach it, what one might hope to accomplish, and how it contrasts with tourism, for example. The talk closed with the notion of waymarkers. I had never heard this term, but it immediately connected. Well-known pilgrim paths are dotted with waymarkers like the left photo, which is on St. Michael's Way in Cornwall, UK.  They point the way, as one might expect. Some are highly visible, as this one; others are harder to locate and require some searching.

With this new concept on my mind, I headed out with a group on a trail ride this afternoon. Lo and behold, our trails have waymarkers! They are red, blue, or purple, and they indicate the equestrian trails in the city park where we ride.  If you were new to our trails, they would show where it is safe to ride horses. You will not be led into the White river, over a cliff, into dangerous footing where a horse might be injured, or into the deep woods where you could get lost as long as you follow the waymarkers. I realize there have been waymarkers all along my spiritual journey.

Beloved Provider God, thank you for the waymarkers. While I haven't always been aware, you have led me to where I am today.  Some waymarkers are people who hold the Christlight for me when I am blinded by pain, trauma, and loss. Some are sacramental. Some come by way of the pen or the paintbrush or the musical instrument when I could use inspiration. Some are angels in animal bodies, sent to teach me a wisdom much more elemental than I can reach by thinking.

I know they are near when my eyes tear up or I am overwhelmed by the majesty of Your creation. Keep me mindful that waymarkers are all around me if I will but pay attention. Help me to seek you out and to recognize when you are leading me in a way I had not been planning to go.

Amen

Meet my Girl

This is my new trail partner, Jo. She is a 12-year-old Paso Fino mare.  She has only been mine about 2 weeks, although I have ridden her extensively since losing 27-year-old Flash in 2021.  After Flash, I  purchased a young quarter horse in training, but she (Barbie) did not like trail riding at all. I was offered Jo in trade, and Barbie will go to a new owner who can put her gifts to better use.  She needs a more intense job that will capture her attention and use her nice breeding. Jo is absolutely perfect for me for now!  She is sweet, sure-footed, smooth (Paso Fino's have a 'gait' rather than a trot), and beautiful.

Thank you, God, for my beautiful Jo.  You are full of the most wonderful surprises, just when I think I have this world figured out. My heart swells with anticipation and gratitude every time I head to the farm where I board. Give us time together to explore your magnificent creation and to further develop our bond.  Make me a good steward of this gift entrusted to me for safekeeping. Thank you for planting in me a lifelong, abiding love of horses.  I have turned to them in every time of upheaval in my life and have found You there. Make me generous with other people who love horses, especially young friends. Horses were shared with me; now I have the opportunity.

Amen

Holy Hands

I got a massage this afternoon. I have a diagnosis of fibromyalgia, and, whatever that actually means, taking care of my body through yoga and massage helps with pain and stiffness. As my therapist, Kellie, worked out the knots in my shoulders and back, I was reminded of a favorite song from Cursillo:

 🎵 These are holy hands; he's given us holy hands. God works through these hands, and so these hands are holy. 🎵

Generous God, bless the holy hands that make this world a better place.

• Hands that prepare food for the hungry
• Hands that care for the children
• Hands that minister to the sick and injured
• Hands that wipe away tears
• Hands that bless and serve the sacraments
• Hands that reach out to lift up a neighbor 
• Hands that tend to your blessed animal kingdom
• Hands that farm the land
• Hands that create art in all its beautiful forms
• Hands that write
• Hands that do ugly work that no one else wants to do

I invite you to add to the list as ideas come to you. May all our hands be made holy to do Your work in the world.

Amen

Tree of Life

 

Yesterday was a footrace, one obligation after another until dinner at 9:00. Today was more under my control. I did some overdue housework, including making up the guestroom bed. My maternal grandmother cross-stitched this quilt for Stephen and me when we got married. It got me thinking about my personal cloud of witnesses, and how I appreciate my two grandmothers now that I have reached that season of life.

They could not have been more different. My mother's mother was a sweet lady who found her bliss in the home arts of her day. She turned out an amazing array of quilts, afghans, smocked dresses, decorative pillows, embroidered curtains and any other handwork she could find.  I still have the little apron we made together one summer during my weeklong visit. She sewed for her small farming community, including a couple of wedding gowns and mother-of-the-bride dresses. She could make an amazing Thanksgiving dinner in a kitchen the size of a postage stamp. Her chicken & dumplings were incredible. I sat on a stool and watched numerous times, but mine taste like wall-paper paste (my husband's colorful description).

My father's mother was a force of nature. When her first husband died, she picked up his business having to do with sampling asphalt. It was no field for a woman, but it never occurred to her that she couldn't handle it. She raised her 2 children to adulthood before marrying the dear man I knew as my grandfather. Her flavor of 'badass' could rub people the wrong way, but I got the best of her.  She would do anything to see that I was cared for and she never seemed to tire of my company. I have needed her strength of character during hard times, and I say 'hi' to her every time I walk by a mirror and see her bright white hair on my head. After I get my eyes checked in August, I plan to pick out a pair of outrageous 'Mammy glasses' for my new prescription.

Thank you, God, for my grandmothers. They loved me, each in her own way, without condition, as do You.  I have them to thank for the joy I find in my grandchildren. I carry each in my heart and have a rich store of memories of good times together. I hope I am building that kind of treasury with my own beloved grandchildren. I hope when I am gone from their presence they will look fondly on our bonds and find unexpected gifts from our time together. Let it be that those two special angels will be waiting with open arms on the other side of this earthly pilgrimage.

Amen

 

The Good Shepherd

 

Today is Good Shepherd Sunday. I love the Biblical imagery of the shepherd.  Sometimes Jesus is the Good Shepherd, sometimes the lamb led to the slaughter. Ancient Palestine was a culture of sheep herding, and I am glad we still use that relationship to describe our connection to the Holy. In my tradition, the Bishop of a Diocese carries a staff with a crook as an emblem of the position and, for some reason, that has touched me deeply since childhood.  I like belonging to a church with a shepherd at the helm.  One of my favorite parts of the Nativity story is that the angels appeared first to the shepherds, not the powerful, to reveal the birth of the Savior.  That is a profound statement of who "Jesus's people" would be during His earthly ministry.

Today, instead of saying the psalm, as we usually do, we sang hymn 645, which is Psalm 23 set to music: The King of Love My Shepherd Is.  By the second verse, my tears were flowing. That was my mother's favorite hymn. She draws near as soon as the organ spells out the tune. She joined the Episcopal Church as a college student and is responsible for my lifelong affiliation.

My relationship with my mother grew rocky as I matured and moved away from her orbit. My dad died when I was 8, and she never remarried or had other children. I became her sole focus. I was a compliant child, and it was easier to 'go along' than to stand my ground and upset her. Her anger scared me, so I became adept at avoiding it. But, as children do, I grew up. When I fell in love with the man I wanted to spend my life with, it flew in the face of her mental plan for my life. There are no jobs for cellists in my small southern town! On top of that, he was a "Yankee", had a full beard, and was divorced. The rift that developed clouded our relationship until she died almost 30 years ago.

Forgiveness has been hard to come by. Her words were harsh and cut deeply. But I can feel my resentment soften when I can imagine her thriving in the next world, God's Kingdom. I hope she now dwells in Christ's close presence:

Where streams of living water flow, my ransomed soul he leadeth, and where the verdant pastures grow, with food celestial feedeth. (Hymn 645, vs. 2)

Amen

God Bless Them

 

My grandson, Bentley, went to his Middle School dance last night. Here he is with his friends, B on the far right in shorts.  These boys have been friends since elementary school in their small district. My daughter said they came running out of the gym at pick up, having had a great time. One of the parent chaperones said the deodorant was beginning to wear off by the end. 😁 This so warms my grandmother heart!

God of all mercies, take care of these boys as they navigate teenage. Keep them healthy and safe and nurture their community as they grow. Teach them to support one another and to lean on their friends when times are hard. Grant them all the things they need to grow up strong and kind. Lead them into relationships and life work that put their gifts to good use. Surround them with people who love them and can nurture them to manhood. Grow them into capable, loving men.  In Jesus's name we pray.

Amen

Good Philanthropy

Friday is date morning. We start at the coffee shop at our library, then proceed to browse the bookstore and the library shelves.

Today I am grateful for the generous philanthropists of Northwest Arkansas.  On Monday, I watched my grandson play baseball at the Tyson ball fields in Springdale. Yesterday, I went to yoga class at the Pat Walker Center for Seniors affiliated with Washington Regional Medical Center. This morning, I enjoyed the offerings of the award-winning Fayetteville Public Library, spearheaded by lead donor Jim Blair in honor of special women in his family.

I often take for granted the civic-minded people whose generous donations contribute greatly to my quality of life.  I pause today to lift up my thanks for the ideas you have planted among the wealthy in my area. Let their lives be blessed in knowing people use and appreciate their gifts.

I don't have significant means, but I have enough to share. Keep me mindful of our food ministries at St. Thomas when I'm at the grocery. Open my eyes to opportunities to share with the oppressed in my area, in both financial and volunteer ways.  I am rich beyond measure compared to most of your beloved children.

Amen

More Rain

The rain continues to fall.  To be honest, what's running through my head today isn't prayer. It's Luke Bryan's country hit, Rain is a Good Thing: "Rain makes corn, corn makes whiskey. Whiskey makes my baby...feel a little frisky." 😏

But on to prayer:

The rain today reminds me of my favorite Eucharistic prayer, C: "At your command, all things came to be: the vast expanse of interstellar space, galaxies, suns, the planets in their courses, and this fragile earth, our island home." (BCP, p. 370)

I live in a place where water is a gift. By late summer, it will be dry and dusty. But, right now, my yard and my beloved riding trails are verdant and flourishing.  The pink dogwood out front is spectacular this year, and the hydrangeas seem to have survived.  I draw close to you, Creator God, working in the yard: planting, weeding, reorganizing my beds. Stephen grows berries, herbs, and tomatoes, with much help from our temperate climate and plentiful rainfall. The waterfall on my favorite trail will be a sight to behold next time we go out. I have the luxury of a warm shower each night to rinse away the day's dirt and anxiety before heading for sleep. Thank you.

I lift up prayers of hope and concern for your children who live where water is a menace.  For those who live where water is scarce and crops are inadequate. For those who live in danger of flooding and those cleaning up recent devastation. For those whose water supply is contaminated or overused. 

Open our eyes to the gifts that our natural world supplies. Give us energy and focus to care for our precious island home in whatever ways we have available. Turn us all toward conservation while we have the chance. Help the scientists and leaders trying to rectify the damage we have already done. 

In Jesus's name we pray,

Amen

Nasty Cancer

Today it is gloomy outside. I will stay in and sew chemo hats for a friend undergoing treatment.

Lord Jesus, help us in the face of this dreaded disease. Comfort those who face a treatment today. Ease their way with gentle hands and kind words. Sometimes just the right presence helps. Give them patience and courage to tolerate vile but life-saving interventions. Draw especially close to those who will receive a diagnosis today and those who will lose someone dear.

Guide and enlighten the scientists working on cures for cancer. Help those who control purse strings to see the urgency of new treatments and cures.

Help us in the face of things we don't understand. It is an affront to us when someone who is innocent gets cancer. But we know from Scripture that even Jesus the Son was not rescued from suffering. He knew every deceit and pain earthly life can inflict. He is our strength and our stay. Let us access His holy companionship and pray in His name.

Amen

Home Day

Today is a 'home' day.  I have cleared out obligations and outings to do laundry and clean house.  I love these days.  Prayer comes easily as my hands do the work of keeping house.

Thank you, God, that I have a home to care for.  I love living in my house, my neighborhood, my town, northwest Arkansas.  It feels like you planted me exactly where I will be happy and thrive.  I am grateful that you chose this place to put down my roots. I enjoy the changing seasons, the opportunities to get outdoors, and the many activities that fill my time.  I live my days and rest at night in a house that is comfortable and meets my every need. We have the resources to care for what we have, like the roofers who finished yesterday.

I lift into your gracious hands those who are without a home: people driven from their homes by war and conflict, people whose homes have been destroyed by natural disaster, people forced to migrate because of famine and scarcity. I pray for all who are unsafe in their homes because of violence. I pray for those who have no home: the poor, migrants, refugees. I especially lift up the young and vulnerable, and those plagued by addiction and mental illness.  

Your Son, our Savior, walked this earth without a home.  Keep us mindful that when we serve the homeless in some manner, we are serving The Christ himself.  Show us how to share our bounty with open hands and willing hearts.

Amen

I'm Back

 Hello My Friends,

I took a long break from the Episcopal Cowgirl as a result of the pandemic.  I was new to blogging when the pandemic hit, and found that, after a few pandemic posts, I lacked much inspiration for things to write.  My husband and I were not miserable during lockdown, and we did not come down with covid, but life was very insular, as you all know.  If you read my blog before, thank you for your patience as I have waited for inspiration to strike. When my grandson was younger, he would return to a room after a short absence and announce, "I'm back!". So, after a long absence, I'll just copy Bentley (who would be embarrassed now that he's 12).

I figured I would be prompted by the Holy Spirit when a sustainable writing practice was on the horizon. That came this morning as I was preparing an early lunch. My dear companion essentially said, "I fill your heart and mind with a constant stream of prayers. Why don't you write them down and share them?" So that's what I intend to do.  I love writing prayers, they are with me always, and I think I can keep this up, with help, of course.

I will start with the prayers that flowed yesterday, my younger daughter's 33rd birthday:

Gracious and generous God, thank you for my beloved Emily.  She has brought enormous joy to me throughout her life.  Watch over her in this new year.  Keep her healthy and safe and nurture her marriage to precious Sam.  Grow their love with each passing year and shower your blessings upon their common life. 

You have taught me a most important lesson about Yourself through my adopted daughters.  Their loving birth mothers gave them life, and then gave them up with no expectation of anything in return. I never met those 2 young women, but they gave me my most beautiful gifts. They modeled for me how You love us all.  When something happens and I whine, "That's not fair!", I am reminded that it's "not fair" the other direction as well. I did nothing to deserve the beautiful family you made of the 4 of us. Your love and blessings are freely given.

So, as I lift up my gratitude, I ask that You shower those birth mothers with every good gift.  May they have health, love, security, and the things we all need to thrive.

In Jesus's name, Amen