My apologies for the delay in posting. I feel I'm in a race with the summer heat to get my yard in order. I do not have an "off" switch when I'm working in the yard and come in with barely the energy for a much-needed shower.
We have been blessed this month with some wonderful adult Sunday school sessions with one of St. Thomas's great treasures. My friend, Vinita, was an editor at Loyola Press for over 20 years and is considered one of the country's leading experts on Ignatian spirituality (though she is Episcopalian). She is a writer and an experienced retreat leader. We enjoyed several Sundays on pilgrimage and how to nurture a pilgrim's heart. This past Sunday, we discussed 'scarcity vs. abundance' under her guidance. It has had a profound impact on me, and I may return to it in additional posts.
After her opening comments, we discussed at our tables what kind of attitude we learned from our parents. Most of my table mates did not know much about their parents' attitudes toward money and belongings. I was the only one privy to that information as a child. I was 8 years old when my dad died, and that marked the point when 'childhood' ended. As the only child of my widowed mother, she shared with me her concerns that we would not have enough money coming in. The fact was that she had a college education, rare for women in the '50s, and was offered a job in a corporate legal department where she had worked before I was born. We lived in a modest house, but there were just 2 of us. I have never gone hungry, lacked a comfortable home, or been without basic necessities and a great deal beyond. I think her sense of scarcity had more to do with her expectations (my dad was an architect) and the weight on her shoulders to provide for us than with our reality.
50+ years later, my husband and I have joined the rest of our contemporaries in embracing American consumer culture. I feel increasingly guilty about this. We have bought 'stuff' beyond what we need, to the point where I am trying to reduce the clutter in our home. In fact, we own 2 homes, one in town and a cabin at the lake. There is not only no scarcity in my life, but in terms of what we own, overflowing abundance.
I recognize that this question of abundance is on my plate as a spiritual quest at this point in my life. Of course, I understand rationally that our abundance does not dwell in belongings as followers of Jesus. But, as we neared the cliff on the debt ceiling last week, my mind went immediately to "What will happen to our retirement savings?", etc. There is still a fear in my heart that what I have can be taken away.
My sweet church family has embraced a woman who parked her car in our lot and took up residence. She comes in on Sunday and joins us for services and coffee hour. We have come to care about her. She belongs to the family. She hasn't asked for anything. She simply showed up. People take her to buy groceries, and a couple with an extra bedroom has gently offered to let her stay with them. I take this as a living, breathing challenge to my long-held beliefs. They need to change if I am to claim my faith.
Lord Jesus, You came into this world to show us how to live. You were an unsettling presence in Your culture as You are in ours. Truly following you requires a radical shift in attitude away from our ingrained cultural beliefs and habits. Help me to hear your voice and recognize when you are speaking to me about my choices. Help me to change what needs changing. Give me courage to follow the path you set before me. Let my discomfort and shame about the unfairness of the world move me to action.
Amen
